A season to write might be thyme.

Three’s a crowd they say. But four is not in the least bit squeezy. We discovered that quite by accident, my Animal and I, fairly early on in our carnival of a relationship. I had often sensed that we were never really alone but it took me a little while to discover who was shadowing us. Animal’s always been much more than one person could possibly contain; you’d be forgiven for thinking you were at a boozy party just having a one-on-one with him...  heaven knows his socks have a presence all their own.

When we first started dating, I’d be all oozing adrenalin and giggles while he sucked nonchalantly on one of his ciggies and we sparred away waiting to see who’d trip first over their own throw-away line. I thought it was his ego. He had one, that was pretty evident, and I knew mine was alive and well. But I can see looking back, that both egos stayed well tucked on the inside pockets, no, it was someone else who stood at a distance and whined. You know what that’s like, right? You’re all cosy and up close with someone you want to impress, and there at the corner of your eye is the annoying shape of another person hovering, like a horsefly, too far off to swat, but just close enough to be a buzzing in your ear. I’d look around but find nobody there.. a little unnerving to be sure, but I deliberately assassinated all doubts simply to be able to hang out with someone as magnetic as that sweet Animal. I wanted to shake him like a glitter ball and demand to know who he kept bringing with him but I’m glad I didn’t get narky because I don’t honestly think he knew.

One day when he wasn’t looking I snuck a glance over his shoulder and finally eye-balled Ms Spook. He was lighting up a new ciggy and had made a private little hollow for its butt in his cupped hands so the wind didn’t steal his flame, and that gave me a perfectly vacant full two seconds to pistol-whip the whore and demand to know her name. It seems she takes it in turns with various other types to hang about right there at his elbow. She was, she insisted, only the Next One. She stayed around sometimes to keep his cool, since a pessimistic streak he kept insisted that his current relationship could never last and was in fact already seconds away from implode. Apparently, when Ms S can’t make it, various exes fill in as possible Next Ones, but they get irritating and don’t last long.

I was pretty blown away by this revelation, and when he looked up with an impossibly alluring half smile of victory as he waved out his match I felt rather busted. Luckily he wasn’t in one of his observant moods. I was relieved. Relieved not only that he hadn’t noticed any increase in my awareness, but also that I wasn’t alone in not being alone. My own constant companion, part-time hustler and practically full time accuser of my soul, is never far off. No wonder we were so right away comfortable with one another, Animal and I. I’m almost certain our shadows hit it off marvelously from the start, finally provided with a full-time distraction themselves. The two of us make a tight little clique, enthralled and distracted in our psycho-pad for four.